Chapter 7

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Sharply at noon, the doorbell rang and there was Sonny. Annie was ready. She grabbed her coat and purse and followed him out the door. “I took the liberty of calling a cab,” she said. “If it’s alright with you, I’d like to go down to Battery Park and ride the Staten Island Ferry.” He said nothing as he crawled into the cab and continued the silent treatment the entire trip. His refusal to make polite conversation still bothered her, probably because she lived in a world of superfluous chatter.

Her world. Her life. She watched as the familiar sights floated past the cab window. This city was her home. For all of its faults, she loved living in New York City. She wondered when she’d ever see these places again.

They boarded the ferry. Sonny led the way, scarcely looking back to see is she was keeping up. He made his way up the weathered brown and yellow stairs, and pushed open the door to go outside. He moved to the railing and leaned against a pillar. Annie chose a spot on a bench nearby, but no one watching would ever suspect they were traveling together. Soon, the horn blasted and slowly the old battered workhorse of the bay pulled away from its berth.

Annie gazed at the choppy water. A red tug scooted past. The Lady of the Harbor rose magnificently from her island. Annie’s nostrils were filled with the pungent sea smells. The soft purr of the diesels was accompanied by the squawk of the sea gulls as they dipped and glided overhead.

Ever since she was a little girl, she loved to ride the ferry, especially with her father. Perhaps it was true he had never developed much affection for shipbuilding, but he loved ships and the sea. He would point out one freighter or another – ones his company built or others he wished they had built.

She felt tears welling up, more out of anger and confusion than sadness. This was the legacy her father had bestowed upon his children. And yet it was he who was so intent on taking it away. Why did everything have to change like this?

She hated being so angry with her mother for dying, but none of this would be happening if she were still alive. It was her death that had pushed Matthew to the edge, made him start searching for something to belong to again. He believed this farm would help recapture some long ago dream, or perhaps it was just a desperate diversion from his pain. Annie wiped away her tears and looked out over the bay with renewed assurance that maybe it did make sense after all.

How much does the success of this new adventure rest on that man’s shoulders, she wondered as she once again contemplated Sonny. Was he saying good-bye, too? Was New York his home or just a place he paused in his journeys? And why did her father trust him so completely? She knew why. There was something about him. You could see it just the way he was standing there, his face into the wind, so damned self-assured.

She was certain that he intended to help them reach the farm, and then take the money and leave. Her father could hire a real foreman or hired hand or whatever you call such people. Perhaps they’d find a whole family – like on TV and movies. The husband does the farming, and the wife does the cooking and cleaning. Yes, that must be the way it’s done. She felt relieved. Maybe things weren’t as bleak as she first thought.

The ferry reached the Island and they disembarked. They took another cab to the Sears store. Once inside, he guided her to the catalog desk. Sonny was right. This was not Madison Avenue, Annie thought as she surveyed the plain surroundings. There were racks of flannel shirts and sweatshirts with hand written 25% discount signs.

“May I help you?“ asked the crisp saleslady at the catalog counter as she glanced at them over the top of her horn-rimmed glasses.

Annie cleared her throat a little and said, “Yes, I’d like to place an order and have it shipped to Dubuque, Iowa, please.”

“I see,” the woman said, reaching for her order pad, putting the carbon in place with a great flourish. “You do realize that you’ll have to pay for the entire order in advance.”

“Yes, so I’ve been told.” Annie cast a quick glance toward Sonny. “Here it is.”

The clerk glared angrily at Annie after she counted the four pages of neatly printed lists. “Young lady, is this some kind of joke? This is hundreds of dollars of merchandise?”

“Yes, I know. $954.66 See, it‘s all added up, including tax--”

“Look,” Sonny broke in rudely, “do you want our business or not? If you’re too busy to take care of this, I’m sure J.C. Penny’s would be happy to handle this.”

“Young man, I’d be happy to place this order except -- except there are no weights listed here. We require those so that shipping charges can be assessed. It would take hours for me to find the weights for each of these items!”

Just then a pleasant looking young woman came up and tapped the clerk on the shoulder. “Miss Beamers, I’m going on my lunch break now, okay?”

Sonny blocked her path and waved a fifty dollar bill in her face. “Miss,” he said, “how would you like to make a fast fifty bucks on your lunch break today?”

“What?” she stammered, looking as though she wondered is she should call the police. “I’m meeting my boyfriend and --”

“Good! If he wants to help, I’ll give him fifty bucks, too. We need weights for everything on this list. If we each take a page, we can get it done fast.”

“Oh, I see. Okay, sure. C’mon, we can go to the cafeteria.” She took four of the huge catalogs from beneath the counter and led the way. Annie stood there, stunned, until Sonny grabbed her and pulled her a long.

One hour later, it was done. The manager of the store heard about it and offered any assistance they might need. When Annie reached into her purse and took out a stack of cash, a security guard was summoned because the cash drawer wouldn’t hold that much money. “I’m afraid I’m a little short,” Annie said, shamefaced. “I didn’t know about the shipping charges.”

“Ah, Jeez,” moaned Sonny. “Here, I have it covered.” The bill was settled and soon they were back out onto the street. Luckily, a cab was just letting off a rider. Sonny shoved Annie inside. He folded his arms across his chest and sat stone-faced.

Annie watched him out of the corner of her eye until she couldn’t stand it any longer. “What are you mad at now?” she demanded.

He didn’t answer at first, looking as though he wasn’t sure he wanted another confrontation with her. “All right, then,” he said, readjusting himself in his seat. “You walk into a store with nearly a thousand dollars worth of cash business and you apologize all the way through it. Christ! You should have had them kissing your feet!”

“Let me get this straight – you’re mad at me? Why? Because I didn’t get hostile right away? Some people might call that good manners!”

“You have to learn how to handle yourself in those situations! You’re such a baby! What would you do if you were on your own?”

She sputtered and stammered but nothing came out! Never had she been so insulted! Sonny just leaned back in his seat and looked as though he was going to take a nap, which further infuriated her. So I have no guts, eh? No confidence? I have never had to make decisions before. I’ve always been taken care of and assumed I always would.

That is until now. Suddenly that familiar shiver of fright jolted through her and she fought back tears again. She wanted to cry obscenities at this egotistical jerk and pound upon his chest until he he’d listen to her. I’ll show him, she vowed, even if it kills me!




Saturday morning everyone was up early. The boys were told to lay everything out on their beds and then Matthew, Annie, or Andrew could come around to check it. There were some tough decisions to be made. Peter couldn’t decide whether to bring his rock collection or his baseball cards. Thomas was angry because neither of his guitars would fit in his trunk. At first Matthew stubbornly refused to make any exceptions, but was coaxed into allowing Thomas to bring one. Then he made a thunderous announcement that no one else had better ask for any other special compensation.

By supper, most of the trunks and luggage were packed and stacked in the foyer. There was a hush that fell over the house as even the younger boys seemed to understand the significance of this last night at home. Tomorrow they would begin what Matthew called their great adventure. Annie and Grace went through the baby things. Many of the blankets and sleepers held special remembrances so they found themselves recounting old stories as they packed, alternately laughing and crying.

Mack slipped down the hallway trying to get into his room undetected. He opened his door to find Andrew and Luke standing by his bed, which was piled with clothes and toiletries.

“Oh, God,” he groaned. “What have we here? Daddy’s little helpers?”

“C’mon, Mack, we’re just trying to help,” Luke explained. “We’re leaving right after Mass in the morning, and you don’t have your stuff together.”

“Hey, who says I’m goin’ to this funny farm anyway,” Mack sneered.

“Shhh! Just pipe down,” scowled Andrew. “In case you don’t realize it, its late. So just shut up and decide what you want to bring along. We laid some stuff out already.”

“You boys are just too good to me,” Mack jeered. He picked up armfuls of clothes and flung them across the room.

“Okay, Mack, we get that you’re drunk and in a vile mood, but we don’t care,” Andrew said as he picked up some clothes off the floor. “You could try to be a little adult about this. Going out and getting drunk every night doesn’t help anything.”

“Oh, just shut up,” snarled Mack. “You make me sick, you hypocritical ass. You know as well as I do that this is the most fucked up idea you’ve ever heard, but you always go along with anything the old man says. At least I stand up to him!”

“Making my father happy makes me a hypocrite?” Andrew retorted. “He wants us to stick together. I can understand that. For God’s sake, why can’t you?”

“Oh, hell, Andrew!” cried Mack. “You’re going along with this lunacy for one reason, same as me – the money. He says he’ll cut us off without a cent. That don’t sound any better to you than it does to me. You couldn’t survive 24 hours out there alone,” he said, flinging his arms at the dark, cold world that lay beyond the walls of the brownstone.

“I said I’d go along with this plan long before he threatened to disown anyone. He said that solely for your benefit, and you know it. Now listen, I realize this is a terrible predicament for all of us. I just think we should try to get along and make the--”

“Ah, go to hell!” muttered Mack, flopping down upon his bed.

“Well, I can tell you why I’m going,” Luke quipped. “Someone’s got to go along to keep you two from killing each other.” With that, they left the room. Mack would be passed out until the morning anyway.




Later that night, as Annie was packing her own things, her mother was on her mind. Leaving the house made her feel like she was losing her mother all over again. As though he was reading her mind, Matthew wandered in looking a little wistful, too. “I can’t help wondering what your mother would think about this,” he said. “The past few nights, I wake up and I’d swear she’s right there with me – I can feel her, smell her. I think she understands, I really do. She’s probably the only one who does.”

“No, Daddy. We understand, or at least some of us are trying to. Besides, if you feel this strongly about something you should go after it, no matter what. It’s going to be a big adjustment, that’s all. You just have to be patient with us, okay?” She smiled and gave him a quick kiss as he stood up. He suddenly looked tired and haggard.

“But anyway, we have a big day tomorrow, so I guess we’d better try to get some sleep, right?” He gave his daughter a big bear hug before he turned to leave. “I know I’m asking a lot from you, Annie. All I’m asking is just give it a chance, okay? I know one thing, nothing is ever going to be quite the same again.”

She tried to smile with as much reassurance as she could muster. She loved her father very much and wanted so badly for him to be happy. Maybe this was the answer. God alone knows, she thought. Better Him than any of us.





Sunday morning dawned cold and gray. The family sat around the table, displaying a veritable smorgasbord of emotion from the little boys’ excited chatter to Mack’s glaring hostility. The usual chaotic confusion ensued but Matthew sat calmly reading his newspaper, just like every other Sunday morning for twenty-five years.

“It says here,” he announced, “ that the Supreme Court will hand down it’s decision on whether draft dodgers have the five year statue of limitations. Those bastards!” he sputtered. “I can’t believe there’s a damn law to protect them.”

“Well, this is the land of the free and the home of the brave,” sneered Mack.

The conversation might have escalated to a full scale confrontation, but thankfully Sonny and his friends reported promptly at 8:00 as instructed. All the baggage was loaded onto the truck. After Mass the family would be picked up by two airport limos. It was going to look very believable – the Winston’s were going on a trip.

There were the last minute scrimmages, such as John trying to smuggle a basketball along and a couple of misplaced teddy bears, but finally, they were ready. They walked the two blocks to St. Gregory’s, accompanied by many of the household staff. As usual, they made their tardy and noisy entrance. Everyone, even Matthew, fidgeted as the service dragged on.

Amid the cheers and well wishes from their teary-eyed servants and friends, the Winston’s climbed into the two limos and were off. In a few minutes they passed through the Holland Tunnel and were soon delivered to their awaiting chariot. It looked like an ordinary large yellow school bus, except for the huge pile of baggage crowning the top. The interior had indeed been altered. Many of the standard seats had been removed and replaced by a table with four captains chairs and two small sofas. A refrigerator had been installed and the cribs for Joey and Becky were set up in the back.

Matthew wanted everyone settled and on the road by noon. Instead, there was mass confusion with the younger boys jumping and running about, and the older ones arguing over who should sit where.

“Hey, I’m hungry,” called out one of the boys. “We’re gonna eat, aren’t we?”

“It is noon,“ Annie said amid a chorus of hungry boys wanting lunch.

“I suppose we could eat now and then get on the road,“ Matthew conceded. “But let’s make it quick. I want to get going as soon as possible.”




Their first meal on the road was a disaster. They weren’t served half of what they ordered, probably because the poor waitress was so confused she was on the verge of tears. Everyone talked at once and wanted to change half of what they said. Milk glasses were spilled. Thomas and John argued as though they were back home sitting in front of the TV. Little Joey nearly fell out of the dilapidated old high chair and wouldn’t eat, shrieking loudly.

At that point, Sonny stood and walked out. Through the diner window, Annie saw him trudging toward the bus. And by the way Matthew hustled everyone out of the place soon afterward, it was clear that he wasn’t real happy either. “Just get on the bus and let’s go. Quiet down. Now!“ Finally, the motor started and they were on their way.
Unfortunately, no one took their father seriously. Even before they reached the turnpike, the volume inside the bus had reached a dull roar. There was constant arguing, screaming babies, and a steady stream of requests for something to eat or drink.
Someone even asked if they could pull into the first rest stop to use the bathroom.

There was so much wind resistance, especially with all the baggage on top, that Sonny was driving slower than expected. Less than 200 miles down the road, barely inside Pennsylvania, they pulled into a motel. Sonny had said very little throughout the afternoon even though the noise was maddening and he was hit twice on the back of the head with a flying football. He sat quietly in the driver’s seat while the others filed out.

Matthew stood back, looking dazed and annoyed. “Christ,” he muttered. “I bet traveling by cover wagon wasn’t this hard.”

After more scenes of pandemonium in the motel lobby and restaurant, Matthew finally strode into the bar. Sonny was already there, starting at a half empty glass of beer. Matthew nodded in Sonny’s direction and ordered his own. Neither man spoke.

Then Mack came in. “Well,” he started, “this is going great, isn’t it? The front desk called up twice because other guests are complaining. Andrew is trying to help Annie ‘cause Joey and the baby are screaming bloody murder. Luke’s got the rest of ‘em. Lots of luck! I couldn’t stand the little brats anymore.” He turned to stare at his father, looking as though he was going to say, I told you so. But, seeing his father’s expression, he thought better of it. He also sat down and ordered a beer, too, enjoying the relative peace and quiet of a noisy bar.

Matthew was on his third drink before any of them spoke. “Maybe what we need is a plan,” Sonny finally said. “Get some of this stuff organized ahead of time.”

“Yeah,” Matthew agreed, “like all the trouble we had in the restaurants today. I was thinking we should have teams. Divide the boys between Mack and Andrew. Luke can help Annie with the babies.”

“How come he gets all the cushy jobs?” Mack muttered.

“Mack,” Matthew continued, “you take Thomas and Danny. And Andrew can take John and Peter. Each team sits at separate tables – opposite corners, if necessary. Get it straight what everyone’s ordering even before you walk in.” He took several more swallows of his drink. “As I recall whenever we traveled with your mother, she always said we needed to allow time for the boys to work off energy. Like – eating lunch at a wayside and let them run around a little.”

“And how about making sure we have motels with an indoor pool,” added Mack, half-heartedly. “Let the little beasts work it off before dinner and maybe then they’ll go to bed and shut up.” Matthew and Sonny stared at him in utter amazement. “Don’t look so shocked,“ Mack said. “I come up with some decent ideas sometimes.“

“Okay, then,” Sonny said as he downed the last swallow of beer. “Sounds like we got a plan. I have to take care of a couple of things, so I’ll see you in the morning.”

Mack watched him go, scowling after him. “What couple of things does he have to check?” he grunted. “Wouldn’t surprise me if we got up some morning to find him and the money all gone. I suppose you told him where all the cash is, didn’t you.”

“Sure did – he helped me hide it. It’s probably one of the things he’s going to check. I don’t know why he peeves you so much, but remember, Mack, this is my idea, not his. If you think we’re having trouble now, just think what it would be like without him.” He finished his drink and pushed way from the bar. “I’m going to bed,” he announced. “You coming?”

“In a while. I like the scenery,” Mack said as he spun around on his stool, eyeing two shapely women as they walked by. “Don’t worry, I can find my own way. I’m a big boy now.”

“I know.” Matthew, threw some money on the bar. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Hey! Don’t you think some of us ought to know where it is, too?”

Matthew turned to stare intently at his son. “Just go to bed,” was all he said.

Chapter 8

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