Chapter 16

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St. Patrick’s Day was fast approaching. It had always been a day of enormous importance in the Winston household. Mother sang her favorite Irish folk songs in her clear soprano voice as she decorated everything in emerald green She never tired of telling the story of St. Patrick and other Irish folklore. She had an especially wistful glint in her eye, reminding everyone how much she missed her homeland after all these years.

So as the holiday neared, they wondered what it would be like not having her with them. And for Annie, the extra stress compounded all the feelings of frustration and weariness. Things just weren’t going very well. Every day seemed more over-whelming and desperate than the day before. She had assumed once the house was made somewhat habitable and modernized, it would become more organized. There was a loose routine of sorts although every day brought its own surprises and disasters.

It was just that she never got anything finished – not the cleaning, not the laundry, not the kitchen, not anything. She felt especially inadequate when dealing with Becky and little Joey. True, she had never been schooled in the domestic arts of cooking, cleaning, and running an entire household, but she was supposed to know how to care for babies. So why was this one so fussy?

Annie was up at night with the infant at least once a night, sometimes twice. Sometimes she cried, distraught and frustrated with the baby screaming in her arms. And no matter how loudly the she cried, no one ever came in to help. All those years Annie stood by her brothers’ cribs, watching her mother and Miss Grace expertly take care of the babies, she never once remembered seeing anything like the rage she now felt.

And who was supposed to rescue her from all this, she wondered. Her father became more and more happy and content in his new surroundings. He had Mack and Andrew outside working from dusk to dawn. Andrew, who seemed more aware of his sister’s state of desperation than the others, did try to help her occasionally but then he would get called outside. The other boys had chores and homework, and became increasingly more involved with school activities.

All of this meant that she was left standing alone in that drafty, dirty old house, and she hated it. She ached to be back home where the coffee was always hot and fresh and she could lounge in bed in the morning as long as she wanted, surrounded by all her lovely things. The thing she missed the most was a sense of decorum that always wonderfully enveloped the old brownstone. How could she hope to ever cope with this? Sometimes she would cry out and even stomp her foot, but no one ever noticed.

So it was that on this particular St. Patrick’s Day, Miss Ann Marie Winston was not at all festive. This day had been worse than most of the others. She was low on groceries so she had to beg Sonny to take her into town for supplies so that she could slave away in the kitchen to prepare the family’s favorite holiday meal of corned beef and cabbage. After struggling to get everything on the supper table, she was hurt and annoyed when everyone hurried through the meal to go some place else. Matthew and Mack were excited about attending the annual party at the Pub. Andrew was helping the St. Pat’s youth group put the finishing touches on the float for tomorrow’s parade so he and the other boys were dropped off at church.

Twenty minutes after she had called everyone to the supper table, Annie sat alone, surrounded by stacks of greasy dishes and great heaps of leftovers. A seething rage began building in her until she was ready to explode. She went upstairs to get Joey and the Becky ready for bed, and she sent Danny and Peter to their room. She came back downstairs a half-hour later to the same mess.

She started to clean up but then a cup slipped from her hand and shattered at her feet. She screamed at the suddenness of it, but she picked up another cup and threw it across the room, and then another. A plate went sailing against the wall and then a bowl. She even threw a chair down hard onto the floor. Her tantrum did nothing to calm her nerves.

She decided to leave the mess and draw a hot bath. She hadn’t done that in a long, long time. She bolted upstairs and ran the tub in the boy’s big bathroom and poured in a half bottle of bubble bath. Slowly she sank into the deliciously soothing water, wishing she had remembered to first pour herself a glass of wine. She would have loved to sit and sip until all her cares melted away.

Sonny was asked repeatedly to go along to the party in town. As usual, he declined saying he had things to do. Whether it was shyness or a strict code of privacy, he always refused to socialize with any members of the family. Plus, he had a new project, which kept him occupied at night. He was converting the bus into a strange looking flat bed truck. It had a closed forward cab with three rows of seats so that the whole family could still ride in it, but the back end was removed. They desperately needed something to haul the loads of supplies from town. It was a huge undertaking, which he worked on alone after hours. This night, like many others, he trudged wearily into the kitchen, looking for a cup of hot coffee.

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Annie felt wonderfully refreshed after her bath. She pampered herself by brushing her hair slowly and even did her nails. She slipped on one of her father’s long-tailed dress shirts, knowing he had little use for it any more. She needed to fill baby bottles for the nighttime feedings even though that meant going back downstairs. She decided she would ignore the mess and worry about it tomorrow.

The opened refrigerator illuminated the darkened room and it was then that Annie noticed the clean counters and swept floor. Startled, she gasped and turned quickly. Sonny sat at the table, drinking coffee. “Well,” she said, “I hope you didn’t get dish pan hands.”

“You don’t get dish pan hands with a dish washer.”

“Oh, boy,” she cried. “You all think this stuff is so damned easy.”

He didn’t answer. Draining his cup, he got up to leave.

“You know,” she called after him, “you are really something. You work hard all day, doing almost everything because we’re all so damned useless. Then you come in here, find a gigantic mess, and you take care of that, too. Damn it, I was going to clean it!”

He stood at the door ready to leave, but then he turned and gave her a hard look. “Ya’ wanna know what I thought when I walked in here?” he demanded, scowling. “I thought someone had broke in or there was some kind of trouble.”

“What?” she stammered.

“Jeez, there was broken glass and chairs knocked over. I went through the whole house to make sure everything was alright.”

She had a mental picture of Sonny prowling through the house, probably with a knife or some other weapon. She tried to remember if she had closed the bathroom door all the way, but pushed that thought out of her head as soon as it appeared. “Hey, I’m sorry, alright?” she said. “A cup fell by accident and the others, I threw. And I was going to break a lot more if I had to stay in this kitchen one more minute! So I went upstairs and soaked in a nice, hot bath. And I felt a lot better, too, until I came down here and saw you cleaned up the place!” She was sure that none of this was making any sense.

Sonny poured himself another cup of coffee and returned to his seat. “Did you ever stop to consider that you’re goin’ about this all wrong.”

Oh, man, Annie thought, here it comes! She braced herself for a lecture.

“Back in your place in New York,” he said, “how many servants did you have?”

“Well, with Cook and Miss Grace, five, I guess.”

“With all these servants, were any of you expected to clean up your own rooms or help out much around the house?”

“Well, of course not,” she said, somewhat shocked. “The servants took care of everything. My father wanted Mother to have a nice life. Besides, she was pregnant most of the time.”

He said nothing more, apparently believing he had made an important point. But she didn’t understand. “Now, don’t get all huffy again,” he said. “Can’t you see that you’re tryin’ to take the place of five servants all by yourself? And this place isn’t nearly as nice as your place back East.”

“Okay, so what are you saying? That I should give up? I can’t handle it so I should run out and hire a maid and a cook? Oh, boy, wouldn’t the people around here get a laugh out of that! We can work as hard as anyone else. That’s what we’re trying to prove – to you and everyone in this stupid town!”

“Jesus! Why do you have to prove anything? There's at least six other able-bodied people who eat and sleep in this house, plus Peter and Danny who romp around here like it’s a summer camp.”

“So? My father won’t let anyone help me. There’s all that much more important work outside,” she cried, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I can take care of the old man. You just have to figure out some kind of system of runnin’ things around here without puttin’ yourself into such a corner.” He pushed away from the table then and left without saying another word.

She sat there feeling as though she had just been struck by a thunderbolt. What an idiot she had been, placing all of this on herself. Why was she trying to do the impossible? She hadn’t asked any of them to do anything – to make their own beds, clean their rooms, or even put away their clean clothes. She needed a system, a workable plan of rotating duties.

She began to circle the table as the thoughts began swirling inside her head. She should be mistress and over-seer, not slave or servant. She decided to make lists of the new rules and regulations, which she would present to her father and siblings tomorrow.

Much later, when she was lying in bed, still too excited to sleep, she wondered why Sonny had said those things to her. Her father and brothers must have noticed how angry and depressed she had been these past few days, yet no one tried to help her in any way. But this man, this stranger, came to her rescue and made her see that she did in fact have options. Annie sighed wearily and settled down into her bed. Ginny said that tomorrow would take care of itself. Annie hoped that was true.


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All the Winston males knew there were drastic changes afoot the minute they came into the kitchen for breakfast. Their sister said a pleasant good morning to each one, but then asked, “Did you make your bed this morning? Did you bring down your dirty clothes?”

“What? How come?” were the sleepy-eyed, surprised responses. Was this some kind of a joke? However, her smiling but resolved expression soon led them to believe that this new attitude was something to be reckoned with.

It was Saturday morning. Matthew came hurrying in for breakfast and began rattling off work assignments for everyone. He was not happy when his daughter interrupted him and demanded a family meeting, but her tone of voice and terse expression compelled him to sit down without saying a word. Sonny took up his customary spot, leaning against the counter in the back corner, his arms folded across his chest and his face as expressionless as usual.

“I have decided to make a few changes around here,” she began, sounding very authoritarian. “All of you seem to presume that I am responsible for everything that needs doing around this house. Well, that’s ridiculous. I cannot do it all, nor should I have to. Therefore, I have come up with a plan.” She took a deep breath. “To begin with, on Friday nights or Saturdays I expect each of you to clean your own bedrooms and change your sheets. Of course, I will still do the laundry but I will wash only the clothes I find in the hampers in the laundry room. That means, if you do not bring it down here, it won’t get washed.”

She paused for a few minutes to allow her first edict to be absorbed by the stunned group. “And there’s more.” She went on to outline a list of tasks that would be completed on a rotating basis, including bathrooms, dishes, and even babysitting. There was considerable groaning and grumbling as these latest laws were announced, but she made it very clear that it was non-negotiable.

“I still have a lot to do, most importantly, taking care of Joey and Becky. I feel I have not been spending enough time with them and when I do, I’m so tired that I’m irritable. Look, I am not your maid, and I’m not going to kill myself trying to do everything.”

In the chorus of moaning and arguing that followed, Matthew’s voice could be heard the loudest. “These boys have responsibilities out--”

Annie cut him off before he had a chance to finish. “That’s bull, Daddy! I need help, too. All I’m asking is that everyone does their share in this house just like outside.”

“If you felt so strongly about this why didn’t you come to me, and we could have worked something out?” Matthew persisted, looking somewhat offended.

She leaned across the table and stared at him, fighting hard to keep angry tears from falling. “I guess I was waiting for someone to notice how bad things were for me,” she said, “but since no one did, I decided to take things into my own hands. It has been worked out – effective immediately!”

And so it was that the Annie Doctrine was adopted and implemented. She was aware of some rumblings of dictatorship, but she didn’t care. It meant survival and more freedom for her. She was amazed how easily she adjusted to her role as “chief bitch and bottle washer.”

Because Sonny helped her resolve her most major difficulty, Annie found that she had more tolerance for his rudeness. She was actually beginning to think that they had reached some kind of truce. But then, in a seemingly premeditated act of hatefulness, he managed to erase any thoughts she had of good will with him.

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It began innocently enough. Becky had a bad cold, and then Joey kept her up all night, whimpering and crying with an apparent ear infection. The next morning, she got the name and number of the local physician from Lori Bean and called for an appointment. Luckily, she was told, Dr. Adams would be in this office today.

In “this” office? Annie had no idea what that meant. She had serious misgivings about this country doctor but she felt she should at least give him a chance. What choice did she have? She did not want to truck several miles with sick children to another town.

Her father was no help at all. When she went outside to tell him she had made appointments, he acted annoyed at the interruption. “Can’t you reschedule for later? Mack just left for town and I’ve got a contractor coming any time now.”

“Well, then Sonny’s going to have to take us,” she insisted.

“No, I can’t,” Sonny retorted. “I have to be here to talk to the contractor, too. Just call back and say you’ll be there as soon as your brother gets back.” He and Matthew walked away as though the whole matter was settled.

“No, this can’t wait,” she cried. “Dad, you know how fast Joey gets sick.”

He wasn’t listening. He had tuned everything out except whatever project he was absorbed in at the time.

“Sonny!” she called, grabbing his arm. “You have to take us into town now!”

“No, I can’t,” he said, pulling away from her.

“For God’s sake, why not?” she insisted. “If you don’t, it could become a lot worse. Joey will have to be hospitalized and think now inconvenient that would be.”

“How could an hour or two make that much difference?” he muttered. “Mack will take you when he gets back.” Again, he walked away.

“You know as well as I do that he might not be back for hours. Why are you being so difficult? Just take us into town!”

“No!”

Annie was incensed. She was talking about the health and well being of children. “Sonny,” she pleaded, “Just take us in, and Mack can pick us up later. It’ll take less than a lousy half hour.”

He started to protest, but then seemed to change his mind. Soon, they were on their way to Dr. Adam’s office. Annie was still seething with anger, but said nothing further.

When they got into town, Sonny pulled up to the curb in front of the office, staring straight ahead without turning off the engine.

“Can’t you at least help me get them inside?” Annie implored.

“No,” he replied without looking at her. “I’m gonna check on Mack to see what’s taking so damn long.”

Angrily, Annie carried one child inside, then the other. Sonny continued to sit behind the wheel, his cold, unrelenting expression frozen on his face. He gunned the engine and sped away the second she shut the truck door.

Chapter 17


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